All evening, Suzannah begged for election updates.

When I finally tucked her into bed, she asked for extra kisses. She never does that. She usually complains that I kiss her too much.

I hugged her close and whispered, "No matter who wins the election, remember that there are good people in the world doing good things, and we will fight with those people. We're going to keep fighting for the light, kiddo." She relaxed a bit, and smiled.

And then I walked into the kitchen and burst into tears. (I'm still crying as I type this. Crying and shaking. The day was so warm--too warm, eerily warm for November. I'm freezing right now. I can't get warm enough.)

Matt wrapped me in a huge hug. I told him that nothing, nothing, is more terrifying than white men who are afraid of sharing. He agreed with me. I made an excellent choice when I married him and he is reinforcing that tonight.

"We're raising a daughter," I sobbed. "For that matter, we're raising a son."

How are we here? How is this who we are?

We will not overlook, rationalize, normalize, or excuse misogyny, racism, sexism, xenophobia, homophobia, transphobia, bullying, and hatred. We are raising our children to be better than that.

I can't write any more tonight.