Another Still Pregnant! post

This is not a Birth Announcement. This is not even a Labor Announcement. I should just go ahead and get that out of the way, because every time I talk on the phone or send an e-mail these days the first thing I have to say is I AM NOT IN LABOR! And then I become decidedly less interesting.

Once I bypassed the crucial 37-week mark and realized I probably wouldn't be giving birth immediately, I actually wanted to stay pregnant until at least today, more than two whole weeks past the 37-week mark, because today was supposed to be Suzannah's first Christmas program at church and I really, really wanted to see her in it. The good news is that as far as I can tell, I'm not in labor yet. The bad news is that Suzannah came down with a cold late last week, and while she seems to feel a bit better than she did two days ago, she has almost completely lost her voice. She sounds, I think, a lot worse than she feels, but we decided to keep her home. She's touchy and croaky, and while I would love to see my little girl up there with all the other kids, I decided it wasn't fair to drag her out when she wasn't feeling great just for my sake. And anyway, she's three; she's not really the glue that holds the program together. There will be other Christmas programs, right?

Still, I'm in a bit of a funk over this, and I'm second-guessing our decision as well, since our daughter is not resting -- she's being an absolute pill this morning. I just love that stage where kids are too sick to go out but they're not sick enough to snuggle on the couch with movies or books; they're stir-crazy and prone to fits of whining. Fun times. Right now Matt is concocting some kind of delicious French toast brunch creation with cream cheese and apple slices, and I suppose that will help me cope.

So anyway, 39+ weeks pregnant is a lot different than 36 or 37 weeks pregnant. I know I felt uncomfortable a couple of weeks ago, but was it really just a few days after Thanksgiving that I could waddle up the street in Seattle and browse through Elliott Bay Book Company? And go to dinner afterward? I haven't left my house since Thursday, and I can hardly waddle between the couch and the bathroom. I have contractions all the time, but they have yet to settle into a pattern or otherwise do anything.

I never got to this point when I was pregnant with Suzannah, which makes sense since she was nearly a month early. I mean, I was uncomfortable. Of course. That's what happens before you go into labor. But I taught three junior classes and two sophomore classes until the day before I went into active labor. I cleaned my house, I did laundry, I drove my dog to the vet, and when I was done with all that I reorganized all our bookshelves, learned how to knit, and drafted my own plan for healthcare reform. (Just kidding. I totally can't knit.)

Now, though, my brain has turned to mush. Two weeks ago, I read South of Broad and The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo in rapid succession, but I've been unable to read more than a hundred pages of The Plague of Doves in a week -- and I love Louise Erdrich. I have all these beginnings of journal entries that just sort of fizzle out. I can hardly even finish an episode of Gilmore Girls, and it's not like that takes a great deal of concentration.

It doesn't exactly help to tell myself that my brain is probably going to be pretty mushy for quite some time.

But based on a few gory details I won't write about here (much to my mother's disappointment, I'm sure), I don't think it will be long. And for the most part, I'm okay with that, because I think babies know better than we do when their birthdays should be. I think it must be getting crowded in there and life might be nicer on the outside, but then again, if Baby is comfortable and healthy and wants to just chill out for awhile longer, that's okay with me.